I don’t remember ever touching on this subject before, but I think it needs addressing.

I’m a girl, in seminary. What of it?

I’m in my mid-twenties, single, with hardly any “prospects in sight.” What of it?

I love kids, and love discipling them. What of it? Does that mean I should be a mom?

Why do people seem to think that ________ would really, really profit from marriage?

Why can’t I hang out with a friend of the opposite gender without it having to be a “date”?

What are you people thinking?

No, I’m not angry. I’m just very intrigued by this mindset, because it does not leave much room for creativity or imagination.

So what if I’m studying in seminary with a bunch of men and only a few other women? Does that make me a little too weird? What if I don’t manage to obtain that “MRS” degree by the time I graduate? Does that mean something is wrong with me?

Come on. Expand your one-track mind.

Just because you think I’m marriage material, or __________, or whatever, doesn’t mean I should be trying harder now that I’m halfway between 20 and 30.

And just because I hung with that person does not mean we went on a “date”. Please use your imagination. Can’t I be friends with those who are not girls?

I appreciate the freedom I have. It is definitely a gift to make the most of. And I admit, sometimes I wonder what marriage would be like, though in my mind, it does not outweigh being unattached. The closet romantic in me would scream in protest, saying, isn’t love the most beautiful thing? You tell me.

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not belittling marriage (it has great symbolic significance), although it would be nice to be reminded of its benefits, because I seem to have forgotten what people have tried to convince me of. I’m not saying that I would purposefully reject marriage (or a relationship) for no good reason. I welcome whatever God has for me. I want to go with the flow, which means not trying to swim ahead of things. Don’t try to confuse me into thinking that marriage should be my goal in life, because it might cut off my grove. I’m having a nice swim.


5 thoughts on “New

  1. matty o says:

    here are the answers in the order of your questions, after each comma is a new answer:

    that’s fine, whatever, that’s neat, probably, because it’s statistically viable, because of the sexual tension, that relationships are good, so that’s unusual for the theologically concervative, yes, then you’ll still be single but older, it’s possible, it’s more difficult when they get married but for now it’s healthy,

    I realize it’s rhetorical, but hey, you asked!

  2. Echo says:

    nice answers Matt

    Bri…You hit it on the head! Those thoughts are shared by many…guys included. I must add, however, another thought this leads to…the application part of your observations: Self control is ignored too much in the lives of one or all three parties involved (the girl, the guy, and the critical onlooker). Too many people jump to conclusions, push the envelope on the “just friends” status, imagine what’s untrue or impure…etc. I guess what I am trying to say to peeps (myself included) is that maturity should be considered…let us edify and strive to fix this tention as much as it depends on us (epic music plays in the background)…love you bri!

  3. matty o says:

    how bout some poetry, eh?

  4. Bren says:

    Ok, have you been reading my blogs? Yeah, you, me, like twins. Scary.

  5. Rett says:

    I like this post and forever have agreed with it. it doesn’t matter that i’ve dated or even that I currently am. Marriage (since that topic was brought up) is not something I am actually looking towards anymore. And as fro guys being just friends…i’ve been trying to get people to understand that it’s OK for years…they never do. I get called all kinds of things for getting along better with guys than girls…but oh well. That’s just the way it happens. I like you’re posts. You write how I think. 🙂

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